I wish so much that this could be one of those cute, fluffy, silly blogs where I apologize for being MIA for so long, pick up where I left off, and run, but it's not. I wish I could say that I've just been busy and that's why my blog hasn't been updated, but that would only be half true. I have been busy. I've been out of town on a mission trip, so I haven't exactly had time to write, but in all honesty I've been avoiding this post. It's not bad. In fact, it's really good, it's just powerful. I haven't been sure how to approach it. I don't know how to share my heart this time. This one goes deep. This one is mine. This one is so good that it's almost painful. This is the story of my life changed.
A little back story. If you've been following my blog at all this summer then you know what I'm doing. If you haven't been following, then let me catch you up. I'm in Alabama for the summer. I am working at a church here. I am working with high school and middle school students. I am totally in love with every single part of it. My responsibilities for my internship include going on mission trips with the students. Atlanta was a few weeks ago with the high school kids and it was great. I loved it. I got to know them and see how their ministry lives and works. Wonderful.
If I am being completely honest, I was a little bit nervous about the middle school trip. I hadn't had as much time with these kids. I didn't know them as well. I wasn't sure how they were going to accept me, or if they were at all. I knew this trip would be more difficult. Less sleep, more drama. I didn't know if I was fully prepared for it. Thank the Lord I wasn't. The middle school mission trip to Monroe, Louisiana was probably the single most amazing thing that God has done in my life up to this point. My students, and yes I do feel comfortable referring to them as mine, are absolutely wonderful. There was no much worship taking place last week. God was tangible. You could practically taste His presence whenever we were all gathered together. Not to mention the staff of the ministry we were at was phenomenal. They made the week run smoothly and were just fun to be around.
Almost every part of last week was great, but our group worship time every night before lights out was on an entirely different level. Tyler asked me a few weeks before the trip if I would help lead worship on the trip. I agreed, but I was a little bit nervous. No one here had heard me sing. I had never helped lead corporate worship like this. Would I be good enough? Would the kids like it? Would it minister to the students? I was practically a basket case. It turns out, as it usually does where God is involved, that all of my worrying and stress was for no reason. God took hold of our band last week and worked in ways that I never could have imagined. The third night of the trip we started like we had the two nights prior and it went well. We had some share time for students to tell their stories up to that point of the week and the stories of how God worked were heart warming and fantastic. We were content with how Wednesday night had gone. We thought it was awesome.
God had other plans.
There is no explanation for what happened next other than God grabbed hold of our worship and flipped it on its head. Once we finished our closing set we expected the kids to file out and hit the showers like they always did, but to our surprise there were kids all over the gym. Still worshiping. Still praying. Broken hearted for their friends. In tears for how they had personally hurt the heart of their God and how they had strayed in their life. They sat in the floor or on the bleachers or stood in circles or in the corners. They prayed over each other. They cried out to Abba. They didn't want to stop. We didn't make them. After almost an hour we decided to do another worship set and it was beautiful. We didn't leave the gym until almost 1am. Even at that point the students were fighting us tooth and nail to stay and keep worshiping. That was one of the moments God used from that trip to change my life.
The final night was another one. Thursday night was planned to be special. It was our last night there and we wanted it to be something that the students would remember. We had stations set up around the gym. There was a communion station, a foot washing station, a praise wall, a journaling station, and a prayer station called 'Nail it to the Cross'. The theme of worship Thursday night was freedom in worship. We wanted the kids to embrace the spirit and whatever it was leading them to do. There was a solid group in front of the stage that was just enthralled by the music and how God was working through that, but there were also plenty of students filtering through the different stations all night. The sheer length of that worship service is what amazes me. We started to worship at 8:45 and ended our corporate worship time a little after midnight. Almost four hours of soul-filling, heart-freeing worship with these beautiful middle school students that I continue to fall more and more in love with. Not only how long we worshiped, but the fact that we weren't tired when we finished. Physically, yes we were tired, but emotionally and spiritually we were on fire! I am still breathlessly in awe of just how much God is changing the lives of these kids. They are not just going to change the world for their Jesus. No. They are going to tear this world apart and rebuild it in the image of how God wants it to be.
We all witnessed the power of God so powerfully last week. In every aspect of our trip, His presence and power was right there. One example of God's power that stands out in my mind is the band's prep time for worship. By the time Wednesday and Thursday night rolled around we were exhausted. We hadn't slept well, we were running around crazy all day, it was hot, we were sweaty. It just was not a fun time. Wednesday before worship started I was so tired that I could barely keep myself upright. None of the songs were going right in rehearsal and I was getting frustrated. I was on the verge of tears. The band could tell. I was frayed and worn. I needed a boost. During our group prayer time I asked the band if they could just lift me up in prayer because I was tired and didn't know how I would make it through our set that night. We had a prayer for the set and that it went well and then JT, our worship leader for the week (who is all kinds of Jesus-loving wonderful) asked Ryan to come and pray over the other vocalist and me. He prayed for healing and restoration. He prayed that God would fill us and give us exactly what we needed for that night of worship. God delivered. He delivered in a mighty way. As soon as Ryan began to pray over us I felt my exhaustion slowly slipping away. I was wide awake and ready to spend my night praising the one who fearfully and wonderfully made me. As soon as I realized what was happening I just started crying. There was no other response. I was overwhelmed and amazed and in awe of the God that I serve. A similar thing happened Thursday night leading up to our big night. I will gladly and openly tell you that we did not make it through those nights on our own. I had no strength left in me and God stepped in, put his hands on me, and held me up.
I am constantly being amazed by the power of my God. My Abba. The One who created the entire universe and knit each of us together in exactly the way He wanted. He is all powerful. He can do ANYTHING that he wants to. Why do I so often doubt His strength? Why is He not the first one I go to when I have a bad day or my road gets rough? Why do I so often think that I can't bring my problems before God? I have been so convicted this last week. I claim Christianity and I say that I am a daughter of the King, but when it comes right down to it, I don't trust him! I have seen God's power first hand this week in a way that I have never seen. I have been shown, through so many people and so many circumstances, that prayer really is powerful, but not just the words of prayer. We are told that the spirit and power of Christ dwells in us. What would happen if American Christians began to pray and actually call on the power of Christ that we have in us? What if we ACTUALLY BELIEVED what we are told in scripture? I can tell you exactly what would happen. We would change the world. My sweet, wonderful, awkward, hilarious, God-filled middle school students witnessed the power of God in the same way that I did this week. I am just here to send out a message.
WE ARE AN ARMY RISING UP TO BREAK EVERY CHAIN.
We WILL tear this world apart with the message of Christ that we are. Be prepared.
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