Disney Princess Survey- Megara

This looked like fun :) Every girl is a princess, right?

Belle

[x] You’ve kissed someone your friends didn’t like.
[] You’ve been lost in the forest.
[x] You love to read.
[] You are not shy at all.
[x] One of your family members is a bit weird.
[x] You have done volunteer work.
[x] You have a wild imagination.
[x] You love to take care of people in need.
[] You’ve had guys like you only because they think you’re pretty.
[x] You’ve rejected at least one person when they’ve asked you out.
Total: 7

Rapunzel

[] You’re an orphaned child or have an evil mother.
[x] You have many different hobbies to keep you busy.
[x] You can get really bored.
[] You have very long hair.
[x] Your hair is/was bright blonde.
[x] You’re an artsy person.
[x] You’re childish.
[] You can’t wait to stop the same routine each day and start living.
[x] You care about others and their feelings.
[x] You like to follow the rules.
Total: 7

Alice

[] You have/had a pet rabbit.
[x] You love to play cards.
[x] You constantly know the time.
[x] You get yourself in sticky situations.
[] You have been to a court.
[x] You have fallen asleep while doing your homework.
[] You have had a tea party.
[x] You like hats.
[x] You’re late.
[] You know how to play croquet.
Total: 6

Jasmine

[] Your dad is rich.
[x] You are very clever.
[x] You’ve been with someone way different from you.
[x] You’d never marry someone just because they were rich.
[x] You have set a lot of goals for yourself.
[x] You don’t have a lot of (good) friends.
[] You’re independent.
[] You are wealthy.
[] Your parents try to control your life.
Total: 5

Megara

[x] Your boyfriend/crush is strong.
[] You have gotten involved with the wrong people before.
[x] You are very convincing.
[x] You have fallen in love before.
[x] You have had your heart broken.
[] You find an interest in Greek mythology.
[x] You lie sometimes.
[x] You pretend to be someone you’re not.
[x] You have been used.
[x] Purple is one of your favorite colors.
Total: 8

Ariel

[x] Your parents expect a lot from you.
[] You really try to follow the rules, but it’s hard for you.
[] You’re a bit of a trouble maker.
[x] You love to swim.
[] Your favorite animal is some sort of sea creature.
[] You collect something.
[] You have/had long red hair.
[] You are adventurous.
[x] You’re extremely curious.
[] You believe everything people tell you/you’re a bit gullible.
Total: 3

Aurora

[] You live/have lived with someone other than your parents.
[x] You almost died at a very young age.
[x] You are gentle, loving, and/or thoughtful.
[x] You have a decent singing voice.
[x] You like to sleep in late on the weekend.
[] You spend most of your time outside.
[] You’re adopted.
[x] You’re very romantic.
[] Pink is one of your favorite colors.
Total: 5

Cinderella

[] One of your parents is dead.
[x] You are expected to do a lot of chores.
[x] You love to dress up.
[x] You love animals.
[x] You are waiting patiently for your Prince Charming.
[] Your mom is really strict.
[] You have sisters who seem kind of jealous of you.
[x] You’re afraid to speak your mind sometimes.
[x] You have left your shoes at a friend’s house before.
[x] You have/had blonde hair.
Total: 7

Snow White

[] Sometimes it seems like your mom is jealous of you.
[x] You’ve almost been killed.
[x] You have at least seven good friends.
[] You’ve had food poisoning.
[x] You have/had short hair.
[x] You get along with almost everyone.
[x] All of your friends are different.
[x] You love to have a good time.
[] You’re happier when you’re out of the house than in.
Total: 6

Tinkerbell

[x] You get jealous easily.
[x] You loved your childhood.
[x] You like to fly.
[x] You believe in magic.
[] You’re 5’2” or under.
[] You hate pirates.
[x] You love sparkles.
[] People underestimate you.
[] You get angry easily.
[x] You have/had a treehouse.
Total: 6

Pocahontas

[x] You love to walk around and explore big cities.
[] You are more spiritual than religious.
[] You’ve been in an interracial relationship.
[x] One of your family members is dead.
[x] Your parents are very protective of you.
[] Someone you know has been in the war.
[x] You love nature.
[] You have/had black hair.
[] You would love to move somewhere exotic and beautiful.
[] You’re very adventurous.
Total: 4

Mulan

[x] You can be a tomboy sometimes.
[] People wish you could be a bit more girly.
[x] You’ve pretended to be someone you’re not.
[] You’ve had a physical fight with someone.
[] You have/had considered running away from home.
[] Your parents try to plan your life out.
[x] A lot of your friends are boys.
[x] You sometimes find yourself in bad situations.
[x] You love your family so much that you’d do anything to protect them
Total: 5

Guilty Pleasures

Everyone has at least one, right? I mean, it's just natural. Well, confession time. Mine is......Ghost Hunters. That and Ghost Hunters International. I just love these two shows. I can't help it, they fascinate me. I watch them whenever I have free time. The thing about that is, they kinda scare me. Not that I scream and jump and get crazy, but I do get slightly jumpy, and without fail, I always wind up watching them while I'm home alone. I know better than to watch them, but I just can't help it. I love them. Everyone needs a little scare now and again, right?

Crunch Time

It's about that time. Exam time. Test time. Stress time. This is my first round of exams as a college student and if I'm being completely honest I'm not that worried. My professors have prepared me for everything that I will face in the next week. I know my stuff, and if I don't by now then that's my fault. I have no doubt that my beginning round of college exams will go smashingly! The one thing that even worries me a little bit is my Jury. All that means is that I get to stand in front of a panel of Music Staff, sing a song, and then recieve a grade for my performance, preparation, and musical pieces. It only lasts for five minutes, but it will be the most difficult fve minutes of my life thus far. Wish me luck :)

The One That Got Away

So, I've noticed that everyone who has a romantic past seems to have that one person that 'got away'. You know the one I'm talking about. The one relationship that should have been perfect. The one relationship that was supposed to last forever. The one relationship that you will always beat yourself up about. Everyone has one, right? Whether we admit it to anyone (or ourselves), we all have one. Well, in my usual fashion, I've been thinking about this quite a bit as of late and I'm beginning to wonder something. Do they really 'get away' or do we let them go? I mean, honesty, if someone meant that much to you that you will forever lament their 'getting away' then why did you not do something to stop them from going? Maybe there was never a concious thought of "I'm giving up on this", but at some point that is precisely what happened. You gave up. The end didn't seem to justify the means. It didn't seem worth it to deal with the drama anymore. So, again I ask, did they really get away? Maybe, like we usually do, we're seeing the past as much better than it was. Maybe we're lonely and want someone to want us so we convince ourselves that we had it so good back then. Maybe we like the attention. Maybe this, Maybe that. Whatever your maybe is, remember this. There is a reason that whoever your 'one that got away' got away. They didn't just walk out. Remember that if they had truly been worth it you would have fought more. Don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself, there is something so much better out there for you. Especially don't waste time trying to save something that can't be ransomed. It's over. It will never be the way it was, and that's such a good thing. Move on. Find someone new. Make friends. Step out of your comfort zone a little bit. Do Something a little bit crazy. Live your life. I promise it'll be worth it.

Homeward Bound

Thanksgiving break is almost withing my grasp! I can practically feel all the love that i'm about to be surrounded with. I can practically smell all the amazing food. I can practically hear the yelling at the TV over one football game or another. It's all right there. I can't wait. I know everyone says they're so ready for Thanksgiving break when they're away at college, and I don't doubt that they are, but it's so different for me. Yes, there is a part of me that simply wants a break from my crazy, hectic, insane schedule, but a bigger part of me is just ready to be with my family. I honestly think my Thanksgiving break is going to be just as busy as if I were at school, but it's a completely different type of busy. I don't mind this busy. I don't mind running to all the different houses and family gatherings. I don't care that there is a large possibility that I will be up late basically every night of my break. So many people my age dread seeing their family and having to make small-talk with long-lost cousins. I'm the polar opposite. I can't wait to see my family! I can't wait to see that one particular 'long-lost cousin' who is away at school. I can't wait to talk to all the aunts and uncles and second and third cousins. I didn't see them enough before I went to school, much less now that I only come home every now and again. I'm thrilled to be going home to see my crazy, hectic, busy, loud, obnoxious, huge, child-filled, food-loving family. They're the highlight of my break. Yes, I will have times of simply sitting and not doing a blessed thing, but I guarantee that every one of those moments will be filled with my family. Even if it's just Daddio and me sitting on opposite ends of the couch reading, or my best friend and I having a movie night, or talking with my mom and all of her crazy sisters, I will have them there with me, near me. That's enough for me. That's all I need. I've said it before, I just need to know that you're beside me. I don't need to always be in a heated debate or a serious conversation. As long as I know that they're there, I'll be fine. So, bring on the crazy family and the get togethers and the food and the hectic schedule. I couldn't be more ready than I am right now.

Runnin' Runnin'

i swear all i do is run. you know, like 'run and run until life's no fun'. don't get me wrong, i know exactly what i signed up for when i listed Music Education as my major. i knew that it required long hours and late nights. i knew it was hard work, and i wouldn't change a single moment of it. i love what i do. i all the people that i've met and the amazing 'family' i've found along the way. i am exactly where i need to be right now with exactly the people i need to be with, no doubt, but i am only human. i'm tired. i'm run-down. i need a break. i haven't had much time to just sit and do nothing, what with homework and practice and everything else. i need time to myself. i need some time to sit across from my best friend and just talk about nothing, but everything at the same time. i need time to snuggle up with my Daddio because i haven't in a long time and i miss him. i need time to have dinner with my family. i need time to just watch my cousins play and grow up. i need time to watch movies with my best guy friend because he's far away too. i need time to goof off with my brother and his best friend. i need time to gossip and dish college talk with my mom and her sisters. i need time to sit in my home church and just see how God is using everyone there. like i said, i know i'm where i need to be, but that doesn't mean i don't miss everything. i feel like i'm missing my cousins growing up. my babygirl just turned fourteen. that's terrifying to me. my youngest cousin is walking and talking. i feel like everything is happening all at once and i'm missing it. i know that isn't true, but it's hard to not think that way. i know alot of this is just adjusting to not being there with them everyday and not seeing them at least four times a week, but old habits die hard, right? i'm ready to hear all about their school, whether they're in kindergarten or eighth grade(almost high school???!). i'm ready to just see how amazing God is making them. i'm ready to love on my family for a while. Thanksgiving, let's go :)

DOXA

i was recently presented with an opportunity to apply for a position on a new team with Baptist Student Summer Missions. the team is called DOXA, which means praise. DOXA is made up of five people, mainly students, who go through an intense week of training and then spend anywhere from six to ten weeks throughout the summer traveling all over the state of North Carolina leading worship, bible schools, camps and church services. as soon as i heard about this i jumped at the chance. the representative from the Baptist Students Summer Missions was giving me information and all that i was thinking was 'this is for me. i need to do this'. so, of course, i got my application filled out, got my references lined up, and sent everything in. i am now waiting on my personal interview with the board and whatnot, and then i wait to see whether or not i got the position i wanted. i am terrified. i've never done anything like this before. the prospect of being on the road for six weeks with four strangers scares me. the idea of leading worship for churches around the state scares me. what if i can't handle it? what if i mess up? what if the team doesn't like me? all of these fears and questions are swimming around in my head and constantly bombarding me and it shares the mess out of me. it terrifies me. then i remember that i serve the God that created the universe. and i remember that He loves me. and i remember that He knows the plans that he has for me. plans to prosper me and not to harm me. plans to give me hope and a future. i remember that the God who created the universe and loves me knows EXACTLY what He is doing. He has put me precisely where i'm at right now.He has put the right people in the right places in my life. He has presented me with exactly the right opportunities and if i am given the chance to be a part of the DOXA team He will give me exactly what i need to perform to the best of  my abilities and to the glory of His name. please just keep me in  your prayers as this opportunity unfolds.

Teaching

so, a few weeks ago i was given the chance to teach the large group time for our children's ministry at my home church, so obviously, i jumped at the chance. to say that i had been conflicted about what i wanted to do with my life over the last several months would be an understatement. it's seemed like every new thing that i got involved in seemed like a new option. i considered being a worship leader. i considered going into children's ministry. i'm still very seriously considering going into children's ministry. i have thought about double majoring in English and Music Education. I would still love to have an english major under my belt. in spite of all of this confusion i've felt as of late and all the new doors that have opened to me, one thing has remained solid. I AM GOING TO TEACH. whether it's in a classroom teaching music, or standing in front of a room full of precious children i will end up teaching. that has never been a maybe for me. being able to stand in front of our children's ministry in it's entirety and share the word of God with the eager faces of and hearts of all of those beautiful children was one of the single most amazing experiences of my life thus far. that only served to further solidify my knowledge that i am doing EXACTLY what i need to be doing. It was amazing

Simple Joys

these litte snacks make my day. They are delicious and convenient. They taste heavenly. I discovered them a few weeks ago and I LOVE THEM. They seem to make bad days just a little bit brighter. I guess we all need the little things, right?

Amazing

i know it seems like i fell off the face of the planet, and somedays i think that i have, but i pinky swear i'm still here! i'm just so busy it should never be allowed. i recently had my voice division recital, then my juries about a month after that, i'm registering for another insane semester of classes(18 hours, legggo), and i've got my D-Groups, blueprint and all the other things i'm involved in on campus. needless to say, i'm loving college life :)

ok, now onto what i actually wanted to talk about. it always amazes me the way in which God works. there are times when he places your path directly in front of you and there is no doubt as to what you have to do, but other times he simply gives you a litte nudge or is the still, small voice whispering ever so sweetly in your ear. these quiet voices are my favorite. it's so much better when we have to lose ourselves in God to find where he wants us. He's been working on me as of late and I can't wait to see what He has planned <3

Readers :)

My best friend, knowing how much I adore books, shared this with me the other day. Take a few minutes out of your very busy day and read it. It is most certainly worth your time.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1h4nfq/themonicabird.com/post/3273155431/date-a-girl-who-reads-date-a-girl-who-spends-her

Perks

So, I'm a member of the Honor's Program at my school and it's wonderful. It's a very small group and everyone gets along really well. Aside from the joy of getting to know everyone, there are also several other perks, one of them being the adorable netbook that I recieved today! Every new member of the Honors Program recieves one and I must say I am thoroughly enjoying mine. It is much easier to transport and it just adorable :) I haven't quite picked a name for it yet, but I will have one before too long!
Days like today just solidify for me that I made the right choice in choosing this school. Not just because I get cool toys, but because of the family atmosphere that is EVERYWHERE here on campus. Not many other schools can furnish brand new netbooks for their Honors Programs. Not many schools have professors that know you by name and say hello whenever they see you around campus. Not many schools have professors that are genuinely interested in what you're doing in life right now and how you're coping with things. There is such a welcoming air at my school. I love it a little bit more every day, and I have this sneaking suspicion that it only gets better from here

oh, Praise the One who paid my debt....

First and foremost, I pinky promise I didn't die! I'm still alive and well and VERY VERY busy! Such is the life of a college student, and I love every single minute of it!
Now, onto what I REALLY wanted to write about. I don't remember if I mentioned this yet or not, but my roommate and I have been looking for a church to start attending while at school and we think we may have found one. The man who has been speaking at Blueprint for the last month or so, Jason Garris, is wonderful. He really knows how to reach college students on their level and I always enjoy hearing him speak. Within the last few weeks Christine and I have been visiting Highland Christian Church, where Jason is one of the Pastors and we love it! It is very contemporary and casual and everyone feels welcome, regardless of how they look or how much money they have. It's just a group of people who get together and worship God and it's amazing. There is something new every week, whether it's an extended worship time or a different praise band. I look forward to it every week and find myself the tiniest bit disappointed whenever I have to miss it. It is just a wonderful place to be and worship.
Not only have I found a church, but I am also beginning to get more involved with the campus ministries, Blueprint, in particular. I recently got the assigment of my D-Group, or Discipleship Group, that will meet once a week, do a bible study and just spend time together. I was put into the group with Sarai Gilbert, who is the lovely wife of Marty Gilbert, the faculty advisor. She is very sweet and gentle and I am thrilled to be in her group and get closer to her and the other amazing girls in my group!
I'll try my best to keep everyone updated with everything, what with my insane schedule. Wish me luck!

Shouldn't this get EASIER the second time around?

This weekend I packed up my little car, made sure we had everything we needed, got in the car with my roommate and headed down the mountain to spend the weekend at home with my amazing family and it was just that, AMAZING! We went to the fair, we read all day, we went out to dinner with everyone, we watched Star Wars with my mom and I got to introduce Christine to SunDrop for the first time. Hands down, best weekend I've had in a long time. I surprised all my amazing friends at church and just showed up sunday  morning without warning anyone I was coming. It was wonderful. Just being at home and surrounded by the people that love me no matter what was the best feeling. Then the weekend ended and I cried like a baby when Christine and I had to leave again. Most people might not be surprised by this, but I was. The day that I moved in I didn't cry very much. I had an orientation session to get to and my wonderful parents had to get home, so we said goodbye outside my dorm and I cried a little, but it didn't last very long because I knew that I had to be somewhere and ready for class. Maybe the fact that I didn't cry very much the first day was a large contributing factor and maybe I was just due for a good cry, but Sunday afternoon was one of the hardest things I've done. Maybe it will get easier, I certainly hope so, but I have no doubt that it will always hurt when I have to leave my family. I just have to know that I will see them again and remember that, no matter how far away we are, we have each other in our hearts <3

Chosen Generation

Apparently God has been trying to get my attention for some time now and I'm just now picking up on it, but the theme of the campus ministries that I've gotten involved in during the last several weeks has been 'Chosen'. The wonderful speakers that visited for CSM the last two weeks have both spoken on finding our identity in God and no one else. The theme verse for this month is 1 Peter 2:9 'But God chose you to be his people. You are royal priests. You are a holy nation. You are a people who belong to God. All of this is so that you can sing his praises. He brought you out of darkness into his wonderful light.' He brought us out of darkness. He chose us specifically for the purpose that he has set before us. When these messages were first given I didn't think much of it except that they were both wonderful messages given from the hearts of two beloved men of God. Then, tonight as I was sitting in Blueprint listening to Jason Garris speak on the story of Zacchaeus and how we are all chosen and would be nowhere without God it hit me. GOD STOP TIME! This is exactly what He's been wanting me to realize! Jason mentioned one verse tonight that really stuck with me. It was John 15:16 'You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.' We did NOT choose God. That's a phrase that is commonly used when someone is rescued by Christ, but it is so untrue! We have no power to find God. He chooses us specifically. He knows exactly what kind of fruit we are going to bear. He sets the fire in our heart to begin pursuing him, but He has been after us much longer than we can even imagine. Take the story of Zacchaeus as an example. The day that Zacchaeus met Christ, literally, he woke up with one thing A lot of money. His one goal for the day was to get as much money as he could for himself.  Nothing else mattered. Then he heard someone mention that Jesus was coming through town and all of a sudden he HAD TO SEE JESUS. He ran through the street to find a perch high enough to just catch a small glimpse of this man they called 'Friend of Sinners'. He RAN. He did whatever had to be done to satisfy this deep spiritual hunger that suddenly consumed him. He didn't need to meet Jesus. He didn't need to touch Him or be his best friend or strongest follower. He would have been satisied to merely see Him. Lucky for him, Christ had a different plan for him. As Jesus approached the tree that Zacchaeus was in He stopped, looked up, and said 'Zacchaeus come quickly! I MUST be a guest in your house tonight!' He didn't say 'I'd really enjoy coming to your house.' He didn't say 'It would be really nice if I could stop by for a few minutes.' NO! Jesus said 'I MUST be a guest in your house today.' He knew exactly who is small man was. He knew exactly what Zacchaeus had done and the reputation that he had, but He also knew that finally his pursuit of Zacchaeus' heart was beginning to 'bear fruit that will last'. Jesus had found his lost treasure and Zacchaeus knew just how important this was. He not only gave his wealth away, he gladly offered up four times the amount that he had cheated people in his time as a tax collector. Zacchaeus was thrilled to give up everything he had for something that, the day before, had meant nothing to him, but in the short time that he had know about Jesus, changed his life forever. We should strive to live a life similar to that. We should be thrilled to give up everything for our Heavenly Father. WE ARE CHOSEN! God knows exactly what He wants to do with each and every one of us. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we think is the right thing and just doing so many THINGS that we forget to simply spend time with The One who chose us, who wrote our life story for the glory of His name. We have to take the time to explore the story that God set before us. We need to live our lives as God's chosen few. We didn't earn it. God didn't need us, He wanted us. HE CHOSE US. Let's live that way <3

Practice Makes Perfect

I have never really been one of those people who can spend hours on end practicing one or two songs. Of course, who really is at my age, right? It just never could hold my attention for long extended amounts of time. I guess I just got too distracted much too easily, as do many teenagers, but I just started college. I'm a big kid now, right? Right. So, tonight I went over to my home-away-from-dorm, Moore Auditorium ( <3), and sat myself down in a little tiny practice room. It was just me and that upright piano. I had no idea what to expect, honesty. I didn't know if I would be able to just sit there and do work. I was never THAT kid. None the less, I sat down at that little piano and pulled out my Alfred's Group Piano for Adults(adults? right.) and set to work. I was surprised at just how easy it was to buckle down and do the work that I needed to get done. I thoroughly enjoyed sitting all by my lonesome in that tiny room playing through my piano assignment and choosing a song that I'm going to perform for my voice studio later this week. I loved working through the things that gave me problems. I loved the struggles that I ran into. I loved realizing what songs needed more work than I thought. I'm looking forward to putting in the hours to get where I want to be on my songs. Is it possible to be addicted to working this hard? Does that make me crazy? If so, then I claim that particular brand of insanity. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that there were so many other music students in the practice rooms around me ranging from drummers to tuba players. Maybe hearing them all work so hard and just having the sense of everyone working toward the same goal, even though we may not be working on exactly the same thing, had an impact. Whatever it was, I loved it. Every moment of the two hours I spent in that precious room was filled with hard work. I absolutely cannnot wait to do it again!

Unbreakable

We've all had those days, those classes, those relationships, those friendships, that we feel like nothing can touch. There is no way that anything could mess up the progress or the closeness or just the general feeling of peace that seems to engulf us at every moment. Every one of us has been there. We love it. We thrive on it. We honestly believe that whatever it is, it's going so well that it will NEVER go wrong....but then it does. What then? What do we do when our perfect day gets ruined with horrible news? What do we do when we fail the big test in that class? What do we do when we lose that person that was 'The One' for so long? What do we do when we lose our very best friend? Do you want the truth? We hurt. We lose our confidence. We reevaluate. We grieve. We run from the pain. We repress it. We don't face it because we don't know if we're strong enough to handle it. We break down when it all comes out and we're forced to deal with it. Then, just when we think there is no possiblity of things ever improving at all.....we start to move on. It gets a little bit easier. It doesn't hurt quite as much as it did the day before. We learn to deal. We work harder in the class. We learn to be on our own and not depend on someone else to make us happy. We build ourselves up for the next time we break because we all know it's going to happen. We go on with our lives. We find new loves. We make new friends. We fix the cracks. We begin to realize that we aren't unbreakable. We start to accept the fact that we're human and it's expected for us to break every now and then. No one is invincible. Even Superman has a weakness. We have to learn what our Kryptonite is and find ways to avoid it. We have to know our weakness and know how to deal with it. We have to realize that we're going to break. We simply have to learn how to just be HUMAN.

Lesson 1: Trust the Journey

Sunday morning service in the lovely Broyhill Chapel on campus here at MHC was a little different from the things I'm used to, but I liked it alot. We got the chance to hear our campus chaplain speak for the first time and I was very impressed with what I heard. She has a quick sense of humor and is very engaging, which is good for me because it keeps me focused. She said there were a few lessons that she wanted to share with us before we hit the books and really started college, but the one lesson that really stayed with me since then is the first one. 'Trust the Journey'. In essence, GOD KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE IS DOING WITH YOUR LIFE! Everything may not turn out exactly how you want it or expect it to, but God has it under control. 'For I know that plans I have for you declares the Lord'. He isn't going to let anything happen to us that we can't handle. Some days we may feel like 'God must think I'm pretty strong, because I can't handle all of this right now', but let me share a little secret with you.....YOU ARE THAT STRONG! If you are a child of the living God then you will be able to withstand everything that comes your way. Your father is the King of Kings! He will keep you safe. Now, that doesn't mean that He will never let anything bad happen to you, it just means that He will give you the strength to just rely on Him whenever the bad things do happen. Have you ever heard the expression 'Let go and let God'? That is one of the best lessons we, myself included, will ever learn. We just have to trust the He has our best interests in mind and He will see us through it all. Lesson 1: TRUST THE JOURNEY <3

Status: NewFresh

That ^ is precisely what was printed in black and white on one of my registration papers this morning as I checked in as an official Mars Hill College student. I have to say, I am thouroughly terrified, but thrilled all at the same time. I can't imagine any other place that I would rather call my 'home-away-from-home' for four years, but I am also slowly beginning to realize that I am on my own. Mom and Daddy aren't here to make sure things get done. I don't have all my old friends right beside me to smile when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I don't really have anyone but me to take care of me and make sure things get done. I have all of the NEW friends that I am so excited to meet. I have professors who are going to support me, but expect me to do things on my own. I have RAs and RDs and my Challenger that are going to be my 'authority' for a while, but really will be more like friends. I have classes that will kick my butt and classes that will be easy as pie. I have a whole new life waiting for me on this small, homey, beautiful, mountainous campus that I am surrounded by. I really am, NewFresh <3

Music is what feelings sound like

These days it seems like every person you pass on the street 'lives for music'. Everyone hides behind that mentality that 'music is the easiest way to express myself'. I can fully associate with music being one of the only things that adequately expresses emotion, but I sometimes think that people devalue the power of music. It is so much more than just a way to 'express yourself'. Music changes things. Music can give you the strength to make that final effort when you're just too exhausted. Music can break you down when you refuse to see how bad something is. Music can give the best kind of comfort when you finally give up something that has been a henderance for as long as you can rememeber. Music can be that soft, quiet, peaceful voice that gives you stability. Music can be your escape from the real world. Music can be the one link that sheds light on a deeper connection between two strangers. Music has the ability to capture a moment perfectly. Music can change your life. Music is what I want to do with my life. It has been since before I can remember. I want, more than anything, to share my love for music with the sweet, precious, impressionable children that will enter my classroom on a daily basis. I want to be witness to music changing a life, saving a life. I hope that God will bless me enough to be instrumental in the changing of a life. Because like I always say, music changes things.

Ideal Love

Ever since I've had the inclination to look at a boy and say 'he's cute, I wonder if he likes me'(which was probably about age six),  I've been hearing all about this sweep-you-off-you-feet, kiss-me-in-the-pouring-rain, consume-all-my-thoughts kind of love and it's been drilled into my brain that THAT is the ideal love. THAT is what all women go for. THAT is what all girls want to find when they grow up and every time I heard it I somehow convinced myself that it was true. I wanted that. I wanted a whirlwind romance that would be a happily-ever-after. Of course I wanted what every girl was supposed to want. Didn't I? NO! I've been spending plenty of time in thought about it, what with my leaving for college in a few short days, and I've come to realize that I don't want that kind of romance. I don't want to be swept off my feet, I have enough trouble staying upright as it is. I don't want to be kissed in the pouring rain, I despise being cold and I'm not that big on PDA. I don't want someone to consume every thought that enters my mind, I have other things that require my full attention. I want someone who can just sit with me.I want someone who knows that God is the single most important thing in my life and is thrilled to have to dive deeper into God just to be able to find me. I want someone who can make fun of me when I slip and fall and understand that I'm ok with laughing at myself, but help me up while we're laughing together. I want someone who understands that I'm not that girl who is ok with kissing and hugging and hanging all over each other while we're in a public place, or ever for that matter. I want someone who gets that I prefer to just hold your hand and know that you're beside me. I want someone who can tell when I'm getting cold, even if I won't admit it, and has a jacket ready for me. I want someone who understands that music moves me and will just sit and let me cry whenever a song hits me just the right way, or the wrong way I guess. I want someone who loves reading just as much as I do and knows just how real the characters in a well written book can become. I want someone who will listen to Frank Sinatra with me and not complain about the 'old people music' that I so adore. I want someone who will sit through a cheesy, black and white movie from the fifties, even if he hates them, just because he knows I love them and he wants to see me smile. I want someone who does silly little things, like leaving me little notes or going out of his way just to say hi to me, instead of the big, flashy, showy things. I want someone who knows that I'm not the girl that has to have all sorts of gifts and expensive things in order for me to like you. I want someone who can quote all the amazing eighties movies that I love and then turn around and quote poetry. I want someone who loves movies, not just the blockbusters that involve car chases and lots of explosions(I love those too, don't get me wrong), but the movies that make you think and process and that leave you talking long after the credits have stopped rolling. I want someone who will see that I've written something like this and rambled on for goodness knows how long and take the time to read ALL OF IT simply because he wants to know every little thing about me. I want someone that I can grow old with and fall a little bit more in love with every day. I want to learn something new about him every day. I want someone who adores my crazy, big, loud, obnoxious family just as much as I do and doesn't mind that anytime we are with them there will most likely be multiple children jockeying for his attention. Simply put, I want the guy that God has specially selected for me. I don't want to settle. I am a princess and I deserve all the wonderful things that my heavenly Father has set before me. I don't want just another whirlwind romance that will leave me feeling empty and restless after a few months. I want my Ideal Love <3

Denial.....

'A refusal to agree or comply with a statement; Contradiction' -World English Dictionary. I honestly think that the definition for this should just be 'the worst feeling in the world'. Especially when it involves a person or a relationship. For instance, knowing that a relationship, even one that has been a huge part of  your life for an extremely long time, is destined to end, but hanging on simply because you don't want to admit that it just isn't the same anymore. Or knowing that a close friend that has been basically a sibling to you is beginning to seem more and more like a relationship prospect, but knowing that you can't do anything with it for fear of losing the friendship. It eats away at you, it drives you insane, you feel like everyone can tell exactly what you're thinking even if you're doing your very best to hide it.  It seems like if they knew then you would lose a huge part of your life. Whether said friend realizes it or not, they have a rather large piece of your heart. I can honestly say that I HATE that feeling. Being helpless is one of my least favorite experiences in the world. I guess sometimes we just have to accept it and move on. Don't let anything hold us back. So, here's to not letting anything hold me back <3

Watch Your Mouth!

William Shakespeare once said 'words without thoughts never to heaven go'. Too often people speak without thinking. They aren't aware of the damage a word can do. Sticks and stones do break bones, but words can wound much deeper. I so desperately wish that I could honestly say 'I will never understand the constant need for young people to curse", but I do understand. I've been that lost, confused freshman who doesn't know which way is up half the time and just wants everyone to like me. I've sat alone and wondered what it would take for someone to want to be my friend. Maybe if I tell this joke, maybe if I say this or that. Maybe it'll happen tomorrow. I've resorted to using every curse word in the book just to get a little laugh or feel like someone is FINALLY accepting me. Thank the Lord that I'm over that stage, but it still pains my heart to see so many young people, young women in particular, using such horrid language. I understand that using words like that is easy, studies have shown that cursing is one of the most primal instincts that we have, but I wish that young men and women would realize that using those words and displaying that language doesn't make you look cool, it makes you look ignorant and uneducated. Worst of all, it shows a severe lack of class. No respectable lady should have a  mouth that could make a sailor blush. There are thousands of languages in the world that all have millions of words in them. It isn't that difficult to find another word that will get the point across, yet still give some indication that the speaker has some level of self control. I wish every day that young people would realize that doing whatever it takes to be 'accepted' by those around them, even if it means demeaning themselves, is not the way to make friends. If the friends you try to involve yourself with require you to make less of yourself then please run away as fast as you can! There will always be someone out there that wants you to live up to their standards and do what THEY want you to do, but we all have to learn at some point to be our own people. There is nothing, no so called friendship, no status, no person, that is worth humiliating yourself and risking the respect of other. Please, just think before you speak

Best Friends....Forever

Everyone has that friend. That one friend that, no matter the circumstances, no matter the fights, the words spoken, the fists swung or the struggles encountered, will be there. Three years could pass between visits, but as soon as you see each other it's just like it was yesterday. I was lucky enough to be blessed with two such friends. I have no intention of being arrogant or rude, but BOTH of my best friends are better than yours. One of them has been around my whole life and I wouldn't trade her for the entire world. She drives me insane most of the time and there has been many a day when I was very tempted to smack her, but she is always there for me. She doesn't judge my choices and she supports me whether she agrees with me or not. She's the one that I would go to for just about anything. She truly is more family than friend, and I wouldn't have it any other way. The other hasn't been around quite as long, but he is just as important to me. I've never really had a male best friend, but he definitely changed all of that. He's the one that I go to for advice. He's the one that can talk sense into me when I'm upset. He's the one who gives me advice on guy stuff. He's the one who is there for me no matter what. I am thankful beyond words for these two people that God has placed in my life. You know that saying 'friends are the siblings God forgot to give us'? Well, all I can say is, true that <3

Big Kid Status :)

I'm eighteen today. I am, for all intents and purposes, an adult. I am also a registered republican voter! I don't know if I'm fully ready for that. The adulthood, not the republican status. It feels wonderful, but at the same time, a little(ok, a lot) scary. I'm basically responsible for myself now. I will be on my own starting one week from today and that is shocking. It seems like it all came up too fast. I can't imagine not asking my parents about going somewhere or doing something. It's exciting, but terrifying. I'm ready to see how this all pans out. So, here's to New Beginnings :)

Timing is Everything

Gloria Naylor once said 'Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.'
       I've been forced to master this art over the years, and I'd like to think that I've done a pretty good job up to this point, but it seems to have gotten much harder as of late. How am I supposed to respond when one of my best friends is making one of the biggest mistakes of their life? What am I supposed to do when they know that it's a bad choice, but refuses to act to change it because they are so comfortable with the routine of their life? I don't know how much longer I can simply sit by and be ready to pick up all the pieces. It hurts me to see them getting so hurt and not be able to do anything to remedy it.
       Some days I feel like I have to be the one that always has everything together because otherwise everything would just collapse around us. I have to be strong so that they will all have someone to fall back on. I can never let my pain show because then they couldn't come to me. That isn't an easy position to be in. It drives me insane most of the time, but I still do it. It seems like my obligation. Does that make any sense at all? Yeah.....I didn't think so.

Knee Deep in the Water Somewhere

So, I'm not the biggest fan of the beach, but I LOVE our annual family vacations. We come to this tiny, secluded island off of Florida, we rent a huge house, and we spend seven full days completely away from everything. It's magical. That's one thing that I really love about having a big family like mine. There are about twenty-some people in our house right now and it's crazy, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. My mom's parents, my family, my three aunts and their families, my dad's mom, and so many kids most people would lose their minds. I love it. All of it. Sometimes the kids can be a little bit overwhelming, but they are all wonderful and I am so lucky to have this time to spend with them and pour into them. Not only the kids, but all of my aunts and other family members that I get to spend good quality time with. Having the time to just sit around and talk is one of the biggest blessings in my life. I learn things about my family's past that I never would have had the time to learn about otherwise, and as I get older I find myself included in more and more conversations between the adults of the house. All of these people are such amazing influences on my life that I wouldn't trade this week for anything in the world. This week, every year, truly is the reason that I sometimes wish I was 'knee deep in the water somewhere' <3 

meh....

So, have you ever had that one person that you know will always have a huge piece of your heart, and they mean the world to you, but sometimes you just want to strangle them? Yeah, me too. I'm dealing with mine right now. It's like, one day everything is fine and you're talking and not a care in the world and then all of a sudden one of you gets mad over something silly and you just won't let it go and the next thing you know you haven't spoken for a week and everything seems ruined. I mean, let's act like we're five. Honesty. It just hurts more than anything else because it makes me think that either, 1) I'm just not good enough and not worth wasting the time on, or 2) none of the numerous things that were said mean anything. Honesty, I'm not sure which one hurts worse. If I'm not worth the time then why waste so much of it on me? What's the point? Why not move on and find someone who you're actually willing to invest time into and let me do the same? And, if nothing that was said actually means anything then why say it in the first place? Was I just a pawn to make you feel better about yourself? Was I a prop? It's just ridiculous and it hurts more than I ever thought walking away could.......

Here goes nothing.....

    so, I've never really done anything like this before, but I just needed a place to put down some of my thoughts. There is just so much going on in my life that I need access to one thing that I have full control over. I need to know that there are still a few precious things that aren't going crazy.
     I guess I should give a little intro about myself.
   I am about to begin one of the most exciting chapters of my life, also known as College. I'm not really sure how it's going to go, but regardless, I am ready to get away. Don't get me wrong, I adore my family and I wouldn't trade them for anything on God's green earth, but I think everyone reaches a point when they are just ready to get out and try a few things on their own. I've hit that point and I am beyond ready to get on with the journey that God has planned for my life.
     Oh, that's another important fact about me. I am a christian. That doesn't mean that I go and sit in a church once or twice a week and then do whatever I please the rest of the week. No. That means that I do the very best that I can, with the help of my heavenly father, to live out what I profess. I don't always get it right. I mess up, quite regularly. I'll never try to convince you that I'm perfect because I know better. I'll simply live my life to the glory of the one who made me. You don't have to agree with that, but disagreement will not make me back down. I know that in this day and age it's not always the 'cool' thing to do to profess to be a christian, but I've never really been one to do what everyone else is doing. I know that God has a plan for my life and I absolutely can not wait to see what it is.
   Back to college, I am excited, but at the same time I am scared out of my mind. There is always that creeping fear in the back of my mind that I will completely fail and not do any of the amazing things that I want to have the chance to do. Everyone says that it's just jitters and nerves, and I believe them, it's just still an extremely scary thought. I guess I'll just have to hold on tight and wait and see what God's got in store for me. That's really the main reason I started this blog. I need somewhere to put down the things that are going on in my life as I fight my way through this insane transition and I feel like this may actually make a difference for someone else someday, if I'm so lucky. I hope that my struggles, heartbreaks, smiles, and triumphs will be even a small inspiration for someone else out there that might be going through something, anything, similar.
    so, like the title says, here goes nothing.......wish me luck <3