Highs and Lows

Any type of new adventure is bound to have high points and low points. That's just the way life works. I knew what I was getting into when I accepted the position here in Trussville. I knew that I would have really great moments and that I'd have moments that weren't too great. That was inevitable. I did not, however, expect some of those moments to happen simultaneously. Is that even possible? Is it possible to have a great moment and a not so great moment at the same time? Well, it is. It happened. To me.

I prefer to hear bad news first so there's nowhere to go but up, so I'll start with lows.

 The low moments have been mostly personal, especially within the last few days. I had to have a really difficult conversation with someone that I really care about last night and it was not a good time. If you know me at all, then you know that I HATE confrontation. I am not the person who is ok with telling someone when I'm mad or upset with them. I don't want to cause problems or make a situation worse, so usually I walk away for a few minutes and keep my mouth shut. I had already tried that approach with this situation, so I  had to bite the bullet and confront this person with how I was feeling. The conversation was tough and there were tears involved and I felt worlds better after, but the time leading up to the phone call was absolutely miserable. I was literally making myself sick thinking about having to make this call. I dreaded dialing that number and putting the phone to my ear. I had no idea how this person would react and that was scary. Not knowing results is also a tension point for me, so all of that piling up was draining all of my energy.

Another low point for this week was homesickness. I ADORE my family. I am probably the ultimate homebody. My ideal evening is sitting on the couch with mom and daddio, watching a movie, eating popcorn. That sounds absolutely HEAVENLY to me. It's not just mom and daddio, either. I would love to do that with pretty much any member of my family. They are, without a doubt, the most important thing in my world, so not having them with me has been really difficult. I love Trussville and the people that I have met here and the students who have taken me in and accepted me in all my awkward glory and for the longest time I wasn't homesick in the slightest. That may seem silly, but that's an enormous deal for me. Usually I'm ready to pack up and roll out by the time I've been away from home for about three days, so making it three WEEKS without homesickness creeping in was amazing. Even now, my homesickness isn't cripling, but it's there and it's noticable. One thing that has been a trigger for it has been Wagon Wheel. It's on the radio all the time, so it's an almost constant reminder of home. That hasn't been easy, but I've learned to sort of use it as encouragement instead of detriment. My team at work and my amazing host family have certainly served to lessen the pain and I am forever thankful for them and their willingness to take me in a love me like I was one of their own.

So, there are my low points. Now for the fun part. My high points!

I got a VERY exciting phone call on saturday. My best friend! For some reason we decided that we wanted to torture ourselves this summer and pretty much go for weeks and weeks without speaking. That was a bad plan. He is up in Maryland right now teaching archery and ropes courses to eleven year old boys (bless his heart) and, as you can imagine, that takes up pretty much all of his time. Not only is he busy, but most of the time he doesn't even have his phone on him or near him, much less facebook. Hearing from him was exactly what I needed.

I feel like I brag on my work team all the time, but believe me, they are fully deserving of it. Megan spoke sunday night at our high school house church and oh my stars, it was phenominal. She opened up herself and let God use her and speak through her and did he ever! I never thought that comparing Christians and the gospel to a pair of work pants would make any kind of sense, but it was perfect. God's presence was so powerful in that living room full of eager high schoolers that you could almost taste it. Not only did Megan allow herself to be a blessing, but then the high school girls in our smaller group session were wonderful. I sat in the back of the group and just sort of observed and God pointed every single word that these beautiful girls said straight to my heart. They didn't even know it, but they were feeding me and pouring into my heart in exactly the way that I needed. I am so blessed by this youth group that sometimes it steals my words.

Finally, tonight. I am absolutely exhausted sitting here in the floor of my little room, but it is the most beautiful exhaustion I think I have ever felt. I had to opportunity to speak at middle school house church tonight. That was monumental for me. God has placed a call on my heart to middle school ministry and/or teaching and tonight was the first time that I was able to put that call into action in an actual, structured, large group, teaching setting. In a spirit of honesty, I was nervous. I was self-concious. I wanted the students to listen to what I had to say. I wanted them to like ME. I quickly came to the realization that the students liking ME wasn't what mattered as I planned out what I would say. These precious middle schoolers needed to hear whatever God wanted to say through me tonight. The topic was being a lukewarm Christian, which is never an easy topic for anyone, much less middle schoolers, who build thier entire lives around what their friends and peers think and do. It is so easy for students their age to get caught up in being 'good enough' to get by and not actually make God the most important thing in their life. My prayer tonight was that God use me to bring his message and that I speak the words that he gave me in love, not in judgement and I think He did. I have a very strange relationship with public speaking. I get stage fright. I psyche myself out leading up to whatever I have to do and make myself insanely nervous. I always have, which is funny, because the calling that God has placed on my life requires me to stand in front of groups of people and speak on a pretty regular basis. God certainly has a funny sense of humor. Anyhow, whenever I have to speak somewhere I get so nervous I can hardly stand it right up until I open my mouth. As soon as I actually start talking I am an entirely different person. I can confident and steady and solid. That is all God. There isn't any other explanation for it. I pray that the message that I brought tonight was used in the students' lives exactly how God needed it to be.

So, that's what my life has been like the last few days. I sometimes feel like I can't catch my breath, but I am loving every moment of this. I'm still not entirely sure why God put me where he did this summer, but I am starting to see small pieces of a bigger whole. I am anxiously awaiting whatever God has around the next corner and I'll try my best to keep you informed.

-C

Atlanta 2.0: Mission Trip Madness

So, my life lately has been absolute INSANITY. As you may remember, my first week on the job was mainly prep for our trip to Atlanta, which happened last week and it was absolutely wonderful. I was able to spend time with the students, get to know the kids I didn't know, and get closer to the people I did know.

One person that I met while on this trip was Haley. She was another one of the chaperons and she is AMAZING! She only about a year older than me and she and I became very fast friends. The self-conscious, scared, little girl part of me was nervous starting the trip with so many fellow leaders that I didn't know, but God showed me, once again, that I had no reason to be afraid. Haley is sweet and funny and adorable and awkward and so similar to me. She has been a God send these last few weeks and I am so thankful for her.

There was one students in particular that I really connected with on the trip. She is a getting ready to be a sophomore and she is me when I was in high school. It took a little while for her to open up, which I expected, but once she did I was absolutely amazed. She is the sweetest, quietest, kindest, strangest, most wonderful girl. Almost every thing that came out of her mouth was something that I have said or probably would say. I am really looking forward to where God allows that relationship to go.

Atlanta was wonderful and I am still amazed that God has been so gracious and giving to me this summer. This small Alabama town has completely stolen my heart and I am so thankful for everyone here.

C

Intern Adventures & Middle School Madness

I know that I said this would probably be a weekly thing, but I am so happy after the day I had that I just had to share it. So, even though yesterday was my first official day of work at FBCT, today was sort of  my first official, official day at work becase today was the day we actually did work things to prep for our mission trip to Atlanta next week. It was also the first time that I got the chance to interact with the middle schoolers. All in all, it was a pretty eventful, crazy, exhausting day.

The interns got to have all kinds of crazy adventures today. We were running from one end of the church to the other getting all kinds of things, which may sound simple, but keep in mind that the three of us sent on these little missions had no idea where we were going. It was exciting, to say the least. We had some unfortunate mishaps involving several rather large coolers (looking back, we realize one trip probably wasn't enough to transport 10+ coolers. Oh well.) I got to spend several minutes in a walk in freezer looking for popcicles (that didn't freeze), which was not a fun time because I am so unbelieveably cold natured. I think my favorite part of our Intern Adventures today was the shopping trip we took. Sending three college aged students to get a large list of game supplies was bound to get interesting. We learned rather quickly that we are very easily distracted. Also, no one in the Trussville area seems to carry the appropriate colored pony beads for Salvation Bracelets. That was a bummer. It took Megan, Ryan, and myself almost two hours, four different stores, two instances of knocking our heads on Megan's car, and countless laughs to FINALLY complete the list (except for those darn BEADS). The best part of the adventure was the bonding we got to do. I think we are finally getting to the point where we are a little more comfortable with each other, which is amazing. We also accidentally got to have some extra bonding time with some of our amazing high schoolers! We stopped to grab some lunch before heading back to the church and, lo and behold, the high school VBS workers (and Allie) had to same great idea we did. Needless to say, my work day was very exciting and full of craziness and adventure, which is obviously the best way to spend a work day.

After we were done with the work for the day (and after a MUCH needed coffee run) we had middle school house church. In all honesty, we did not have very high expectations for middle school house church. I don't say that to be mean, it's just the truth. It's always harder to get a lot of middle schoolers to house church because they can't drive themselves and people are busy. It's just how it is. We invited high school students to join us and help to lead small groups and we were expecting to have more high schoolers than middle schoolers. That was certainly NOT the case tonight at house church. There were a pretty good number of high schoolers, all of whom I am very thankful for, but there were SO MANY middle schoolers! The living room, kitchen, and dining room of the host house were PACKED!! I didn't get an exact count, but there had to be at least thirty middle schoolers jammed into this house, if not more. It was chaotic, loud, crazy, messy, and wonderful! We spent some time worshiping with Jesse and then watched a video that accompanies Francis Chan's "Crazy Love" (which was amazing, of course. It's Chan). Jesse spoke for a few minutes and then the real fun began. We got split up into our small groups. I was lucky enough to get three sweet eighth grade girls and I can't even put into words how excited I am about this small group. Tonight was just a tiny bit awkward, but that's to be expected on the first night. I mean, these girls got thrown with a total stranger and were expected to have a discussion. Obviously, there was some awkwardness. I'm sure my natural state of awkward didn't help, but we'll get there. All joking aside, I am extremely excited to get to love on and pour into these girls as much as I can this summer.  I would greatly appreciate your prayers and love as I continue this journey. These girls have so much potential in them and I just want to be able to nurture it and watch them bloom. I am open to more girls joining our group as the summer progresses, but I would be just as happy keeping my three.

I'll try and update as often as I can. Thank you in advace for your love, support, and prayers!

-C

P.S. if anyone is interested, this adorable little chair has become my new favorite spot. So comfy!

Abounding Apologies & Dramatic Developments

So, as I am certain anyone who reads this, if anyone does at all, can tell, I am fairly terrible at keeping up with this. I love the idea of it, but I just get busy and life gets crazy and other things get in the way and I lose track of it all. I apologize for that. I will do my very best to maintain some sense of order for as long as I am able, but will make no solid promises.

Now that my apology has been made, I wold like to share some exciting things that have been happening in my life lately. First, I think that God knew what he was doing when he had me title this thing "New Beginning" becuase my life seems to be inundated with just that, especially lately. I have done so much since my last update, including completing my sophomore year of college, changing my major TWICE (finally settled on Middle Grades Education. YAY!), accepting a scholarship position at a church near school (by which I also gained a second, precious, wonderful church family), and most recently (and most exciting) starting an internship with middle and high school students at a church.

Typically, me doing some sort of summer internship is NOT that exciting. I mean, this is the norm for me, right? I'm always working with students during the summer, so what? Well, this internship is exciting and new and scary and exhilirating and wonderful because......drum roll......I am in an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STATE. That's right, I have relocated to Trussvile, Alabama for the summer. I am almost seven hours away from home and that is probably one of the scariest things that has ever happened to me. I am a home body. I love being with my family. I love spending time with the people I love, so what in the world would posses me to come all the way down to Trussville, Alabama for TEN WEEKS?! There is really only one answer I have for that. God. This was completely a God thing. It was totally chance that I happened upon this church, then one thing lead to another and God put me here. I've only been here for two days (today was my first official day) and I am already completely in love with it. The students I have met are wonderful, the staff is all nice and helpful, and the team I'm on is wonderful.

Let me take a minute to acclimate you with everything.

My Position:

I am officially a Student Ministry Summer Intern at First Baptist Church Trussville, Alabama. That means that I get to hang out with super awesome high school and middle school students all summer. There will be some office work and logistics in there too, but mostly it's pouring into students and loving on them. I get to go on trips with them (Atlanta, Georgia and Monroe, Louisiana), be with them sunday mornings, hang out sunday and tuesday nights at house church, and basically just get to know them and their awesome selves. It's going to be AMAZING!

My team:

Jeff: Jeff is the high school minister at FBCT and he is CRAZY! He is loads of fun, loves to hammock, has an awesome family, is a Braves fan, loves Auburn football, and (unfortunately) loves Duke basketball. The most important thing about Jeff is that he LOVES his students. He knows everyone by name and is genuinely interested in how their lives are going. It's heart-warming.

Tyler: Tyler is the middle school minister at FBCT and he is the first person I got in contact with. He is vacationing this week (lucky dog), so I have not had the chance to meet him yet. I have spoken to him on the phone and via e-mail and he seems great! I promise I'll update on him when he gets home.

Allie: Allie is the Student Ministry Assistant and I only met her today, but I already love her. She is crazy fun to be around and extremely laid back. From what I can tell, Allie is the one who keeps the office in check and she rocks at it.

Megan: Megan is one of the four interns I'm working with this summer. She is 22, studying social work, absolutely gorgeous, and one of the sweetest people you will ever have the privilege to meet. She was the first person, aside from staff, that came up and said hello to me on sunday when my parents and I got to church. It is already clear to me that she will be such a joy to work with and probably a dear, sweet friend before the summer ends.

Ryan: Ryan is another intern. He grew up in the area, so he sort of knows the ropes already. At least he knows them better then I do. He is sweet, and funny, and tall. He is very laid back, but not afraid to have a good time and goof off a little with the students. Also, from what I hear, he is a Ping-Pong CHAMPION.

Jesse: Jesse is the final intern (aside from me). He is a hilarious, crazy, bearded, hammocking, guitar player. He leads worship for the students and helps with the praise band on sunday mornings. He has been working at FBCT for about a year, so he's pretty comfortable with everything, which will be a HUGE lifesaver for me. Another fun fact, Jesse is getting married in a month! (cue the 'AWW').

That rounds out the team, expect for me, but you know me already. I will try my very best to update at least weekly, but no promises. I do ask that you all keep me in your prayers, this is going to be a busy and crazy summer. I could certainly use the extra support and encouragement!

-C

5-11-12

     This has been a LONG time coming, but I am very happy to announce that I am HOME FOR SUMMER! That is such a great feeling! I am so looking forward to really getting my summer under way. Gracious.
     This year has certainly been a crazy one. I started college. I made new friends. I lost old friends. I realized precisely why my best friends mean so much to me. I had fights. I thought I was going to lose my mind (several times). I liked a boy (ok, a few boys). I worked my tail off in school. I had days when I didn't work as hard as I should have. I had fabulous successes. I had magnificent failures. I gained some amazing sisters. I found parts of myself. I lost parts of myself. I learned that I'm ok on my own. I grew up, but learned the importance of being silly. I made it. I'm now officially a sophomore in college. That's crazy, isn't it? Can you imagine that I'm going to begin my second year of college soon? I can't. Some days I still feel like I belong in elementary school, but other days I feel like I'm on top of the world. I'm exactly where I need to be. THAT is a good feeling.
     Speaking of great things, I start my Big Kid job in a few weeks!! I absolutely cannot wait to be a part of the church staff, even if it is temporary. The nerves haven't hit me yet, but I know they're coming. The day before I start working I'm probably going to freak out. I have to admit, this is the first job I've had, and I want it to be perfect. I don't want to mess anything up. I want to be good at this. Of course, there is the part of me that knows that it's God's will for me, but there is the other part of me that can't help but be scared of messing it up. I mean, I know that there will be small problems that arise, but overall I'm hoping it will be amazing. Who knows, maybe this summer is going to change my life :)

Taking Back Forever

     I have begun to notice more and more that girls seem to be consumed by the prospect of a relationship. Especially girls in high school. It seems that every time I turn around there is another girl telling the world how happy she is and how she finally has the guy of her dreams, then the next thing I know her heart is broken because he WASN'T perfect like she thought. So many teenage girls are obsessed with forever. They know without a shadow of a doubt that THIS GUY is the one that will be forever. They just know that THIS GUY will stay around. They put everything they have into believing in their most recent forever and then their world is shattered when that forever only lasts a few months.
     Please don't think that I am condemning these girls or making fun of them. That is the furthest thing from the truth. In all honesty, I was that girl in high school. I had the boy that I honesty thought was going to be my forever. I just knew he was the one. I just knew that he would be beside me through everything. I just knew...until I had to end it. Granted, my 'forever' did last longer than most, but I'm still not sure that I would classify that as a good thing. My forever did last almost two years, but that was almost two years that I could have done so much more than worry about my relationship. That was two years that I was mainly focused on him. Yes, school was important and I loved my family more than anything, but he was the main part of my life. We told each other everything. We were always talking. We were in constant contact. We knew every movement of the other person. Looking back on that now, it seems that I should have known better. Right?
     Wrong. I am a firm believer that girls these days get their ideas for 'perfect relationships' from the movies. If I asked most girls what their favorite movies were I can almost guarantee that most responses would include at least one magnificent love story. You know the one I'm talking about. Girl meets boy, Girl likes boy, Girl doesn't want to tell boy, Girl and boy become friends, Girl and boy fight, Girl and boy ALWAYS END UP TOGETHER IN THE END. These movies make for wonderful entertainment and are always a nice pick-me-up when you've had a bad day, but far too many girls have convinced themselves that these movies show exactly how their relationships will turn out. It's supposed to work out, the girl is always supposed to end up with the boy she likes. The girl is always supposed to end up happy. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but these movies are not always true. The boy you like doesn't always like you back. You may end up with your heart broken. You may have to start back at square one when that 'Prince Charming' turns out to not be who you think he is. You just might have to learn how to be happy by yourself before you can even think about your forever.
     I had to do just that and it has been the most amazing and freeing thing I have ever done. I have had to learn to be happy with my God and my family and, most importantly, myself. I have had to learn daily that I DO NOT have to have a boy to be complete. I still struggle with it, but overall I am so much happier. I can see now that, although not all of them are bad, many relationships can be a huge distractions. Girls need to learn first and foremost to be contented with the God who loves them more than the sun, moon, and stars. Every girl needs to take back her forever. After all, it was never hers to give.
    

Sweet Summertime

First of all, I know I've been AWOL lately, and I'm so sorry. I have no life because my schedule stays so busy all the time, but I just wanted to give a little update on my crazy beautiful life. I am almost done with my freshman year of college, which blows my mind on a daily basis. It seems like just yesterday that I was moving all of my things into my tiny room and trying not to cry as my parents left, but at the same time it feels like it's always been this way. I never thought I would be that kid who loved being way from home. I've always been a homebody, so loving college this much surprised me, I won't lie. Anyhow, school and everything is going wonderfully :)

Now, onto what I REALLY wanted to tell you about. This summer will be the first summer that I will be officially employed. I have applies to two different positions and I am so excited to see where God will lead me this summer!

One job I have considered is working as a counselor at the summer camp that I attended as a child. This is a very small camp so I would get to know the children really well, and it would just be a wonderful work environment. The director of the camp, whom I have known for many years, is a wonderful woman and it would be an honor to work under her. She is very strict with her workers, but I prefer work envionments like that, especially when children are involved. I love working with children and being able to mentor and lead them all summer would be such a blessing!

The second job I'm considering is still with children, but more involved. There is a possibility that I will be a summer intern with my children's minister, which would be ideal for me. I have worked with the children at my church ever since I have been able to and I honestly can't imagine spending an entire summer without them. If I were to get the internship I would not only have an incoming salary, which would be nice, but I would also get to see the inner workings of our children's ministry. Not only would I be working all the events and camps that we do for the children, but I would be involved with the plannig and set up of everything. I ADORE working with my kids, but I also love being able to plan things. I've always thrived in a position like that and being able to have a summer filled with it would be fantastic :)